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• Bully

  24Nov
  Categories: Ender Firsts, Ender Sayings Comments: 2

  We decided to go ahead and put Ender in preschool this year for 3 days a week (Mon, Tues, Thurs).  There were several reasons for this, but the biggest one for me was the fact that Ender tended to get bored at home and to get into trouble and be fussy and miserable.  I felt that more stimulation and a variety of activities would be the best thing for this overly active, curious boy.  He would still get to be with Granda two days a week (Wed & Fri), which offered a change in venue and an opportunity for still different types of activities (and much better food that what I send him in his lunches).  He had attended the preschool a few times as a “drop-in” in the Spring if Granda got sick, and he seemed to do well.  That was kind of like a trial phase for us and we felt good about the school and teachers they’d had so far.

  Ender has definitely been my least clingy child.  The first few days of school, he didn’t even cry when I dropped him off.  There have been a few days when he did cry, but it was not very common.  He goes to “early birds” and is often the first kid there.  I always help him wash his hands first and then I tell him to go play while I head for the door.  He usually seems a little hesitant to get started playing but he sometimes meanders over to something that catches his fancy or looks at the pictures of kids in his class that are on the wall, sometimes pointing at them.  The teacher engages him, and I sneak off.

  Husband picks him up in the afternoons at 2:50.  Sometimes, Ender is still asleep from naptime.  Sometimes, he sees Daddy and comes running.  Everything was just fine for a little while, but then Husband started having to sign purple “incident” forms when he went to pick him up because Ender was pushing and hitting other kids, running over them with riding toys, etc.  This was bad enough, but when he started biting the other kids, we were really upset!  The first day he bit someone, Husband was so shocked that he didn’t think to ask about what happened.  I called the teacher that afternoon to get the story.  Ender was playing at a “station” in the class and a girl came into the station… and he grabbed her hand and bit it.  It wasn’t because she had taken his toy or was messing with him or anything.  Apparently, she was in his space and he didn’t like it.   The teacher told me that he seemed to be more aggressive with the kids who were smaller and younger than him.  (Great, we thought, we have a little bully!)  I asked what they did when he bit her and they immediately had him sit in a chair and talked to him about it.  She said he knew he was in trouble and cried. (Good, we thought.)  Well, this went on for a few weeks.  He had an incident form just about every day!  Husband dreaded going to pick him up and having to bear the humiliation of the Purple Form.  Finally, when he had to sign 3 purple forms in one day, we decided that Ender was just not ready for preschool and asked Granda if she could go back to watching him every day.  She said she could, but it just didn’t feel right.  It is hard to describe how heavy my heart felt.  None of the options seemed right.  What bothered me most was that I felt that they did not know the true Ender.  I felt that they probably saw him as a little terror and not the sweet boy I knew him to be.

  I went and told the teachers the next morning that we had decided to take him out of preschool at the end of the month of September (one more week).  When Husband and I went to pick Ender up from school that afternoon (I didn’t want Husband to face the purple forms alone), one of his teachers took us aside and explained that Ender was doing really well despite appearances and that he was doing exactly what was expected at this age.  She said that they don’t normally tell parents this, but that most of the kids get the purple incident forms quite often, that it was not just Ender, that they could tell that he was a sweet boy, that he was not being mean, but that he was probably teething more than anything else and biting was natural.  She said that kids usually are good for a few weeks and then when they get accustomed to the routine, they get more comfortable and start testing boundaries and being more aggressive.  The elimination of his morning nap was also catching up to him and making him more volatile, but she said that kids usually got used to this a few months into the year.  She asked us to give them until the end of November to see if things got better (as she felt sure they would).

  We felt much better after finding out that Ender wasn’t the most terrible kid in the world after all, so we agreed to let him stay and see how it went.  We also started sending Ender with a teether (at the teacher’s suggestion) so that he could bite on that instead of his friends.  I was skeptical about this because he never seemed to be interested in teethers at home, but it did help.  Whenever the teachers saw that he was teething, they would encourage him to bite on the teether.  Turns out that by the end of October, he was rarely getting any more purple forms at all, and Husband no longer dreaded picking him up in the afternoons.

  Ender has also started saying more words and dropping the signs.  Here are the words I can think of right now: Daddy, Momma/Mommy, Kelby(“Bobby”)/Kay-Kay, Bryler(“Bah-oh”), Lane(“Ay”), Granda(“Danda”), Big Dad(“Bi-Da”), PaPa, Grammy(“Ammy”), Lee(“Ee”), More(“Moe”), Ok(“Oh-tay”), Hot, No, Uh-huh, Hi, Bye-Bye, Sock(“Ock”), Pee-pee, Diaper(“Dahpah”), Poo-poo, Night-night(“Nigh-nigh”), Ow, Balloon(“Bah-oo”), Ball, Down(“Guh”), Birdie(“Buhddy”), Mine(“My”), Water(“Ahtah”), Sippy Cup(“Ee-uh”), Thank you(“tain-too”), Ender(“Enduh”).  I’m going to stop there.  Since Sunday when I started writing down all his words, he took another developmental leap and started saying so many more words that I decided to quit trying to write them down.  He’s also said stuff like “Where’d it go?”, “I’ll get it”, and “Kelby, get away”.  And, of course, he says a lot of things that we can’t understand.

• A New Batch of Sayings

  21Oct
  Categories: Bryler Sayings, Ender Firsts, Ender Sayings, Kelby Sayings Comments: 1

  Here are some cute sayings I’ve been saving up.

  6/19/10 Kelby, age 5, about Ender: “He’s cute but his eyes are not cute…  They are a work of art: one blue, and one brown and blue, and that is a work of art!”

  Winter 2011 Bryler, age 4, playing the computer game Minecraft, at an especially difficult part: “Pray for me, Kelby! Pray for me!”

  4/4/11 Bryler, getting out of the car to go to preschool and checking his pockets, “Darn it!  Darn it!  I forgot my lipstick AGAIN!” (He meant his chapstick.)

  5/29/11 Kelby, age 6: “Ender is a cute little boy.  I’m glad God gave him to us.  I was the one praying for him, right Mommy?” (She was referring to when she started praying for a new baby before I got pregnant with Ender.)

  6/4/11 Bryler, excited after we helped him sound out the word GOD: “He’s up there and we just spelled him!”

  6/4/11 Kelby: “Daddy teaches us lots of bad habits. Like taking his seatbelt off before we’re in the driveway. And talking to people who aren’t there… I guess that’s not a bad habit.  It’s just funny.”

  10/21/11 Bryler was playing multiplayer Minecraft with Daddy and Kelby.  While they play, they can write messages to each other.  Bryler and Kelby play upstairs on the laptops and Daddy plays downstairs so writing messages is both fun and necessary.  Bryler, not wanting to be left out, wrote “DADEIDID”, “DADEWIRRU”, and later “DIRIZSUDEDDDER”.  The first two we could figure out.  They say, “Daddy, I died” and “Daddy, Where are you?”  Not so much on the other one.  Kelby wrote the interpretation for Daddy: “there is something down there.”  Obviously, the spacing between words is not a skill he has yet achieved.  Of course, he’s only 4 1/2 so we’re quite proud of his efforts.

  10/21/11 Same day, same game of Minecraft.  Kelby wrote “daddy please viset…but do not bring bryler”, and a few minutes later, “daddy please do not bring bryler agin”.   Kelby and Bryler hadn’t been getting along so well.  Even in the game world there is tension amongst siblings.

  10/2/11 And for the grand finale, the first Ender saying!  We were in the car leaving church.  There was a huge balloon flying in the sky above a car lot across the street.  Ender pointed out the window and said, “Ba-oo!”  I looked and figured it out. “Oh, yes, Ender!  A balloon!”  He was excited and pointed and said it several times.  “A ba-oo! … A ba-oo!”  After a few minutes, when the car lot was long gone, he put his palms up in a questioning manner and said, ” ‘ere-i-go, Mamma?”  (Where’d it go, Mamma?)

• RV Camping

  20Oct
  Categories: Camping Comments: 0

  Two weeks after our family backpacking trip, Husband and I went on our first camping trip in an RV.  We were invited by our friends from church, Ashley and Justin, to spend two nights in Ashley’s parents’ RV in celebration of Justin and Husband’s birthday (both the following week).

  Preparation for this trip was more difficult because we needed to find a place for all three kids to stay for two nights.  I had taken the day off from work and we had hoped to leave town Friday morning, but the child care situation was too complicated since Kelby was out of school that day for teacher in-service day, which meant Granda needed to watch Layla and Lane and we didn’t want to leave her with all 5 of her grandkids all day long.  We also found out that Kelby and Bryler had a dentist appointment scheduled for 7:00 AM on Friday morning.  So we left Ender with Granda for most of the morning while we took the older two to the dentist, Sam’s Club, McDonald’s for breakfast, and then the Christian book store to buy Kelby a Bible.  We’ve been meaning to buy Kelby a Bible with “real” verses for several months and wanted to make it a special event.  Bryler and I stayed in the car while Daddy took Kelby in the store and let her pick one out.  She was really excited about her new Bible and read it all the way home and has been taking it to school and writing down her favorite verses.  We picked up Ender, gave the kids a nap, and finished packing.

  

  Kelby's New Bible

  Then we were on our way to Townsend at around 3:00.  On Friday night, Bryler spent the night with Layla, and Kelby and Ender spent the night with Granda.  On Saturday, Granda dropped off Ender at my Mom & Dad’s house and took Kelby to the flea market.  Later, they met up with Bryler with Layla and family at a new corn maze near our house.  They spent most of the afternoon there.  Then, Granda dropped off Kelby and Bryler at my parents’ house and picked up Ender and that was the arrangement for the night.  On Sunday morning, Granda took Ender to church with her and made sure he got to the nursery.  My mom brought Kelby and Bryler to church, dropping Bryler off at his class and keeping Kelby with her since it was the last Sunday of the month and the kids are in the sanctuary.  Turns out Kelby was called up to the stage to participate in the sermon, which I’m sure she was thrilled about.  I was sad to not be there to see it, but I may be able to find a video of it.  After church, Bryler went home with my parents; Ender went home with Lori & Lance; and Kelby went with Granda for a Kelby day.  I believe they went to Chuck-e-cheese’s.  I think it all went pretty smoothly.  We got texted some pictures of them here and there and they always seemed to be having a great time.

  Bryan and I also had a great time on our trip.  It was truly a vacation with relaxation and plenty of fun activities.  We arrived at the KOA Campground of Townsend at around 5:00 on Friday.  During our drive there, I realized I had forgotten to pack a sweater or jacket and it was going to get cold so we stopped at a thrift shop in Maryville and bought the best sweater/jacket we could find.  It was forest green with a zipper.  It was comfortable at least and I ended up wearing it a lot during the trip.  We met up with Ashley and Justin at the campground and then went to the local grocery store to pick up some supplies.  Back at the campground, Justin grilled hamburgers and we ate way too much.  At around 8:00, we drove around the Cades Cove loop in Justin’s truck.  We went slowly and Ashley and I sat in the truck bed.  It was beautiful out there, as always.  We saw several deer out grazing, some leaping across the road soon after we passed by.

  We stopped at two churches on the loop and visited the cemeteries.  The majority of graves were for infants, some with names, but many with just the engraving “Infant” with the date of birth and death on the same day.  Some were infants from the same family, just a few years apart.  Some babies died at birth while others lived just a few months.  It was very sad.  It was hard to imagine living in those days when infant mortality was so high.  I’m sure the grief was just as bitter for them back then as it would be today.  My heart was heavy for them but also thankful to God for our three kids, born with no complications whatsoever.

  By the end of the loop, it was so dark we couldn’t see much of anything.  Ashley and I climbed back into the back seat of the truck and, soon after, we saw in our headlights a black bear and her cub getting ready to cross the road in front of us!

  Back at the campground, we took showers at the bathhouse, which was very close to our RV, started a campfire and roasted gigantic marshmallows for s’mores.  We talked and talked, mostly about all the people we could think of who no longer attended our church and funny stories about them.  Then we were off to bed.  Our bed was small but comfortable — MUCH better than sleeping on the ground, which was still fresh on our minds from our recent backpacking trip.  It was way too quiet in there (we always have some kind of fan on at home), but I was tired enough to sleep through the night without much trouble.

  On Saturday morning, Husband and Ashley made pancakes and a booty of bacon.  We had planned on having eggs, but the eggs had accidentally been left in the freezer and they were frozen.  While they were cooking, I used Justin’s bike and rode around the campground.  I had not ridden a bike in years.  I was a little hesitant at first, but it wasn’t long before I was zooming down the “aisles” of RVs and checking out the cabins and creek.  It was invigorating!  Husband and I ended up taking the bike for a ride several times throughout our stay there and really enjoyed it.

  After breakfast, we were off to Wahoo Ziplines, the main attraction of our vacation.  It was beautiful, the weather was great, and super fun as expected.  I think we all accomplished turning upside down at least once.  There was also a little girl about Kelby’s age there so we loved watching her zip and looked forward to bringing Kelby with us to the ziplines next time.   Two thumbs up for Wahoo Ziplines!

  

  On our way to the ziplines!

  

  Heather & Ashley Ziplining

  

  Group Photo

  We ate lunch at Calhouns and spent the rest of the afternoon at Dollywood riding all the roller coasters.  We purchased the Q2Q passes so we wouldn’t have to wait in line nearly as long and it turned out to save us a whole lot of time.  We happened to see several kids from our church youth group there, which was really cool.  We left the park at about the time when it closed so there was a huge line for the trolleys to take people to their parked cars.  We opted to walk instead.  After hiking from zipline to zipline, walking Dollywood, and hiking back to our car, we were pooped.  We had planned to grill hot dogs for dinner but decided to stop and get some pizza at Pizza Hut instead. After showers, we hit the sack.  I ended up using my cell phone and headphones f0r most of the night, listening to a phone app called White Noise.

  On Sunday morning, we had another huge breakfast of bacon, eggs, toast, and some kind of bratwurst that Justin had bought from the butcher shop.

  

  Breakfast of Champions

  After a few rides around the RV park on Justin’s bike, we packed up our stuff and headed out for our last leg of the vacation — horseback riding.  We had made reservations at Waldens Creek Riding Stables.  It was a beautiful setting and the ride was quite fun although pretty uneventful except for when Justin’s horse (named Gunsmoke) decided to try to lay down and eat grass and having to stop every time a horse needed to pee.  (Did you know that horses can’t walk and pee at the same time?)  Since it was lead by a guide with one horse following close behind each other, we never got the horses faster than a walk.  Still, it was enjoyable and Husband said that he enjoyed it more than he thought he would.  My horse was black and white and named Domino.  Husband’s horse was named white with black spots and was named C.C., short for Completely Crazy.  I accidentally left my camera in the car, which was really crummy, but I ran back and got it afterward so we could get these pictures.  It would have been nicer if we were actually riding the horses, ya think?

  

  Husband and CC

   

  

  Me & Domino

  On the way back home, we stopped and had a nice long lunch with Justin and Ashley at Logan’s Roadhouse.  We picked up Bryler at Mom’s house and Ender at Lori and Lance’s house.  We left Bryler in the car when we picked up Ender since he was playing the DS.  When we came back out, Bryler had peed in his pants.  Of course, he was upset.  He had apparently not thought about getting out of the car so he could go inside to pee.  Later, Granda brought Kelby home.  Everyone was tired and fussy, including me.  It was good to see our kids again, but at the same time I was ready to go back on vacation.  Oh, the joys and trials of separation and reunion.

• Family Camping Trip

  01Oct
  Categories: Camping, Family Comments: 2

  We finally got to go on our first camping trip as a family!   I’ve been wanting to take the kids camping for YEARS!  Every time we’ve tried to schedule a time to go, it was either too hot or too cold or too rainy, etc.  This time, we scheduled it early enough to get prepared and the weather forecast cooperated.  We only took the older two, of course, since running after little Ender in the woods would not have been our idea of fun.

  We dropped Ender off at Lori and Lance’s house for his first “overnight” at their house at around 4:30 on Friday afternoon, Sept 9.  It was beautiful weather, overcast and warm but not too hot.  It got down to the 50′s after the sun went down, but it was plenty warm enough in our tent and sleeping bags.

  We had considered camping at Melton Hill Dam which is only about 20 minutes from our house, but when we drove through the campground the Saturday before, we didn’t like the looks of it.  It was really cramped together.  We also considered Fall Creek Falls, which was about 1 hour 45 minutes away.  Husband and I had backpacked together there shortly after we were married and it was alright.  But in the end, we decided to camp at Frozen Head State Park (Lance’s suggestion) because it was only about 45 minutes from our house and they had some back country camp sites with less than a mile hike and they had a playground.  We both remembered going there for church picnics when we were young.  (It’s likely we were remembering the exact same picnics although neither of us remember each other being there.)  We were not completely sure if we wanted to try to backpack or to camp at the campground so we packed our backpacking gear but also put some heavier stuff in the trunk in case we decided to stay at the campground.

  When we arrived, we drove around the camp ground and saw that it was much nicer and more spread out than Melton Mill, but we had totally forgotten to bring any cash with us and the campsites were $13 per night.  So that pretty much made up our decision for us.  We were going to go backpacking!  We stopped at the visitor’s center to “register” and get a map.  We also let the kids walk around with their backpacks to make sure they could carry actually them.  They were going to need to carry their own sleeping bags and change clothes.  Bryler was excited.  Kelby did not want to hike, but she couldn’t come up with a reason why she didn’t want to hike so we didn’t entertain her complaints.  She had not had a nap.

  We drove to the trailhead, put on our backpacks, and took a picture as is our custom before a hiking trip.  Husband balanced the camera on a wooden fence and set the timer.  I am pleasantly surprised at how well it turned out!

  

  At the Trailhead

  It was about 6:00 PM but seemed much later since it was so overcast.  Husband was a genius and found two walking sticks for the kids right at the beginning of the trail.  That put the icing on the cake.  We hadn’t gone but a few steps and Kelby was already talking about how much fun it was.

  

  On the Trail

  Husband and Kelby hiked at a quicker pace than Bryler and me.  In fact, I think I was even slower than Bryler.  Bryler saw that we were falling behind and said, “Momma, can you please keep up?”  Then he would try to run and then got too tired and had to rest.  We had to teach him to keep a steady pace.  I found it interesting that he was so concerned about keeping up.

  

  Bryler on a Foot Bridge

  I really enjoyed hiking along the trail with Bryler, talking about the things we saw along the way and how cool it was to camp out in the woods and how I used to camp at campgrounds with Grammy and PaPa when I was young.  There was a nice stream on our right the whole way up the trail.  I could tell that Bryler felt like a big boy carrying his own backpack, which was really too big for him, and using his walking stick.  He can really carry on a nice conversation.  We stopped to rest just a few times, mainly for Bryler to catch his breath.  We also stopped briefly to take a look at a waterfall.

  After about 45 minutes of hiking, we reached the camp ground.  It was a nice area right next to the stream and completely to ourselves.  We spent a little while choosing where to pitch our tent because we wanted it to be near a nice fire ring and to have a place to hang up our backpacks.  I caught this picture of Kelby with her mouth open in awe.

  

  Kelby Surveying the Campsites

   

  We decided to use the campsite that had a rugged wooden table to set our backpacks and gear on.

  

  Our Campsite (table barely visable on the left)

  We pitched the tent, collected sticks, and then tried to get a fire started.  Unfortunately, it had rained the night before and all the wood was still wet.  Husband tried for a while and then I tried while Kelby and Husband went down to the stream to filter some water to cook and clean with.  I had no luck with the fire either.  The kids were getting restless and very hungry and tired, so we gave up on the fire.  It was about 8:00.  The plan was to use our little gas camping stove to cook couscous and mac-n-cheese for dinner.  But something was wrong with the stove.  The gas was not being released into the stove.  After another 30 minutes or so, we decided to let the kids eat oatmeal for dinner.  They like to eat oatmeal from the little packets with a little bit of cold water so that was super easy.  I ended up eating a packet of it myself.  About the time when we were cleaning up the bowls, Husband got the stove to light, but we decided not to try to fix the food since we’d already eaten and we didn’t want leftovers to mess with.  Husband ate a granola bar for dinner.

  Kelby and Bryler were not at all comfortable with the darkness in the woods. We had at least thought to bring them each their own flashlight, but they kept very close to us and were clearly nervous, shining their flashlights all around especially if there was any sound.  It was getting colder so I got out our jackets and the kids even put on gloves.

  At around 9:30, Husband tried one last time to start the fire and he actually did get it going this time!  This was really exciting — the campfire is my #1 favorite thing about camping!  We ended up being able to have two roasted marshmallows each for dessert.

  

  Fun at the Campfire!

  I took the kids to pee in the woods and then it was time for bed.  At 10:00 we were all in the tent, which was amazingly warmer than it was outside.  We were in a 3-man tent so we were very cozy.

  

  Sleepy Kelby in the Tent

  Husband and I slept in the middle with our z-rests (really thin mattress pads that fold up).  Kelby slept next to Daddy and Bryler slept next to me.  The light of the moon lit the tent up like a nightlight.  We fell asleep to the sounds of the stream and lots of crickets.  The kids were asleep within 15 minutes.  I believe they slept a lot better than Husband and I did.  Man, it sure hurts to sleep on the ground!  My body ached in whatever position I tried to sleep in and by morning even my head was aching.  It was probably about 3 AM when Husband and I were awakened by what must have been owls.  First it was the owl on our left with a hooting pattern.  Then there was an owl to our right with a matching pattern.  Back and forth they hooted to each other with somewhat varying patterns until they moved away and out of earshot.  The kids slept through the whole thing.  In the late morning when the moon was “setting”, it was much darker in the tent.

  We got up when the sun came up at around 7 AM.  Husband cooked us pancakes on the camp stove.  We ate them with syrup.  It was yummy.  As we were cleaning up, the kids were playing around the campsite.

  

  Playing on the Logs

  There were large logs for seats near the campfire that they liked to balance on.  One of the logs must have rolled a little bit under Kelby as she was walking on it because she fell off of it and hit her face on another log.  I didn’t see it happen but she started crying hard and I came running and saw that her mouth was bleeding so I snatched her up and carried her over to Daddy.  By this time, there was blood everywhere — on her face, down her chin, dripping onto her jacket.  I was really upset now but trying to stay calm and conceal it for Kelby’s sake.  I couldn’t tell how badly she was hurt or even what was causing the bleeding.  If she was really hurt badly, what would we do way back here in the woods?  I got some water and started rinsing her so we could tell where the wound was.  Husband was scolding her for not being careful and for standing on the logs, which was making me more upset since I really was scared that she was badly hurt and I felt like he wasn’t being very sensitive.  Husband later told me that he knew she was fine or else he would have been more sensitive.  Oh, the differences between mommies and daddies!  Turns out Kelby had busted her nose and her lip on the right side.  She had some wood from the log in her top teeth and I joked with her about biting the log, which made her giggle.  That made us both feel a lot better.  She brushed her teeth to get the wood out.  Once she was all cleaned up, you could barely even tell she had had an accident.  Bryler came over and was very nice and said he was worried about her and stuff like that and they hugged.  In the end, I think Kelby enjoyed getting some special attention.  (She’s mentioned to me a few times that she’s jealous when others get hurt because they get all the attention.  I always remind her that they also got hurt, which was not fun.)

  We saw one guy pass by on the trail that morning, but we were otherwise completely alone at the campsite.  The kids were getting restless by around 10 AM so we packed up our stuff and made our way back down the trail.  Bryler and I started out in the back again and he looked back at me and said, “Can you try to keep up this time, Momma?”

  

  Back on the Trail

  We stopped longer at the waterfall and went down to see it close up and to get some pictures.  The rocks were slick in the stream and Bryler and Kelby both ended up getting their shoes wet.

  

  Hiking Down to the Waterfall

  

  At the Waterfall

  After that, Kelby and I hiked back together and let the boys go on ahead.  I knew that Bryler would like to be out in front with Daddy.  I found Kelby another walking stick (hers had accidentally been used as kindling for the campfire).  I asked Kelby what part of our camping trip she liked the most and she said, “All of it!”  When we got to the trailhead, a man with his daughter were feeding the fish in the stream a Hardee’s biscuit.  They offered Kelby part of the biscuit and she got to see the fish swarming the pieces as she threw them in.  Bryler and Daddy had already been to the car and came back to find us and took a look at the fish as well.

  

  Feeding the Fish

  We let the kids stop at the amphitheater and playground on our way out of the park.  They took turns jumping off the stage into Daddy’s arms for a few minutes and then we went to the playground.

  

  At the Playground

  But they were not very interested in the playground when they saw the stream running beside it.  We spent the next 45 minutes or so jumping from rock to rock down the stream.  I thought for sure someone would fall in, but they escaped mostly dry.  Bryler got his shoe wet right as we were getting ready to leave and threw a big yelling fit about it (for which he got a black token).

  

  Kelby Playing in the Stream

  

  Bryler Playing in the Stream

  

  Husband Playing in the Steam

  

  My Loves

  On the way home, we passed by the Morgan County Correctional Complex (prison) which houses minimum, medium and maximum-security inmates and had some interesting conversations with the kids about prison and why they didn’t want to go there.  We were all so intrigued by it that we decided to also drive by the old Brushy Mountain State Penitentiary (closed since 2009).  Sorry, we didn’t take any pictures of the prisons.

  Three weeks later, I asked the kids what they liked best about the trip.

  Kelby: I told you, all of it!  (What do you remember best about it?)  When I went pee-pee, when we went got in the tent, when we ate the oatmeal, when we went hiking, when we went to the waterfall, when we had the fire, when we filtered the water.

  Bryler: All of it!  Except when I was tired and didn’t get to rest when we were hiking because I was really super tired of doing dat.

  All in all, we had a super great time together and can’t wait to do it again.  Hope you enjoyed hearing about it!

• Summer Flies

  25Aug
  Categories: Ender Firsts, Family Comments: 2

  The summer has flown by as usual.  It has been an extremely hot summer and we’ve had some considerable thunder and lightning storms with which to teach our children to endure without unnecessary fear.  One day early in the summer, Kelby & Bryler both freaked out when thunder began to rumble in the distance while they were playing outside.  I made them go back outside to clean up their toys, but it was not a pretty sight with all their crying and distress despite my attempts to assure them that I wouldn’t send them out if it wasn’t safe.  We had some really brilliant lightning storms, which are super cool to watch but very hard to sleep through.  Bryler is doing much better now with his fear of storms and was able to sleep through the last big one without even using his ear protection headphones.  Ender was fearful after the first loud thunderstorm, but after he saw us calmly going about our business during the next one, he visibly relaxed and took it in stride.  He also slept through the night storms, which surprised me.  Kelby, who isn’t such a heavy sleeper, did well once she had her headphones on.  She is probably still the one most fearful of storms.   (She is also afraid of loud toilets.  She is 6 and still plugs her ears and runs out of the stalls of public bathrooms to avoid whatever pain the toilet might inflict upon her.)

  We have also had a continuing problem with fear of bees.  You may recall that Bryler got stung several times by a yellow jacket on his ear last year when he unknowingly disrupted a nest and was fearful of anything that flew for a while.  With our encouragement that “bees” will leave him alone if he leaves them alone and Husband’s insistence that he face his fears – meaning he had to be around them whether he liked it or not – he was pretty much cured of the phobia within a month or so.  (I was not sure Bryler was ready to face his fear of bees straight on like that but I have to credit Husband with doing it calmly and standing by with him and showing him that there was no danger. )  Not long after this “training”, he and Kelby were out using badminton rackets to whack and kill carpenter bees, which they have been taught to visually identify as being the bees that won’t sting them (to ensure that they not try to whack the stinging bees).  Unfortunately, Bryler got stung again mid-summer this year, and we are not sure of what type of insect it was or what really happened.  I was mowing the lawn and Bryan was trimming.  Bryler and Kelby were playing outside.  Bryler went in the garage to get something and came out with great distress with a welt on his neck, clearly from a sting.  He didn’t see what stung him, he just heard the buzzing and felt the sting.  We found a wasp nest and suspect he got too close for their comfort, so that’s what we told Bryler must have happened (to confirm our story that bees don’t sting unless you mess with them).  But it traumatized him yet again and made him fearful of any flying or buzzing thing including such flies and gnats.  We set up a large wading pool for Kelby and Bryler this year, and they were keen on playing in it until this episode and then they were afraid because there were always buzzing things around.  Kelby wasn’t any help.  She was affected by Bryler’s sting as if it had happened to her, which I understand.  She’s old enough to know that if it happened to him, it could happen to her.  The bee training has been expanded:  Things that sting tend to leave you alone when you leave them alone, but things that don’t sting will bother you but they’re just annoying and shouldn’t be feared.  And of course, that means teaching them how to identify the various types of bugs.  Fun, fun…

  Speaking of the wading pool, we set it up under our RV carport so that the kids would be shaded and because there was no grass to be killed there.  Bryler was especially enthusiastic about the pool for the first few days.  In response to, “Are you having fun in the pool?” he would exclaim, “I LOVE it!”  After 2 weeks, the pool got a bad case of algae and we drained it and set it out to dry.  There is one more week before Kelby’s school starts and there’s a good chance that we’ll fill it up one more time and hope the buzzing things don’t deter them from having some final summer fun.

  __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

  Stats:

  Kelby on 1/28/11 (6th birthday)

  • 43 1/2″ tall (45%)
  • 42 1/2 lbs (60%)

  Bryler on 1/28/11 (4th birthday)

  • 40 1/2″ tall (55%)
  • 36 lbs (50%)

  Ender on 9/10/10 (4 months)

  • 25″ tall (50%)
  • 13.4 lbs (20%)
  • 40 1/2 cm head diameter (10%)

  Ender on 11/10/10 (6 months)

  • 26 1/2″ tall (50%)
  • 14.8 lbs (9%)
  • 42 cm head diameter (10%)

  Ender on 2/11/11 (9 months)

  • 28″ tall (45%)
  • 17.8 lbs (10%)
  • 44 cm head diameter (15%)

  Ender on 8/12/11 (15 months)

  • 31 1/2″ tall (60%)
  • 23 lbs (25%)
  • 46 cm head diameter (20%)

  _________________________________________________________________________________

  Ender is becoming a person with a personality as toddlers normally do around this age.  He is definitely our least verbal child, but our best signer.  The doctor says that kids who sign are learning two languages at once so we can expect it to take a little bit longer than kids who are just learning one language, and it’s nothing to be concerned about.  He communicates very well with his limited vocabulary of signs: More (used for anything he wants), down (which he also uses for up and out), eat, milk (to mean whatever is in his sippy cup), that (pointing to whatever), please, and Daddy.  We are working on the sign for thank you.  He has done it a few times.  I am amused by his down sign because he says “Guh, guh” with it.  The Daddy sign is patting Husband on the chest because when we were trying to teach Ender the word Daddy we always patted him on the chest.  Now whenever we say, “Where’s Daddy”, he reaches over and pats his Daddy on the chest.  Really cute.

  Although he isn’t very verbal yet, he seems to understand a whole lot, especially commands.  I “count” him now.  He obeys sometimes after 1 and almost always after 2.  Problem is that he keeps trying whatever it is he shouldn’t be doing.  Like standing up on the couch.  We’ll say “sit down”.  He’ll obey.  A few minutes later, he’s standing up on the couch again… and again… and again.  At this point, he gets a spanking because we know he’s testing our limits and counting doesn’t define the limits.  Counting just means, I’m serious and I’m giving you 2 chances to do the right thing.  Spanking means, if you do this it will cause you pain.  Much more effective.  So far, he’s very sensitive to spanking which means we don’t have to spank hard.  A light slap on the bottom or leg and he’s offended and crying.

  When I say he’s testing the limits, I mean that he is pretty intentional about it.  Example: when I empty the dishwasher, Ender is drawn to the dishwasher’s silverware compartment like a magnet.  It is right at his hand level and he is oh-so curious.  But there are often knives in the silverware compartments, so I cannot let him touch.  I tell him no when he reaches for them.  He puts his hand down.  He reaches again, I smack his hand “No”.  He cries but stands his ground.  He stops crying and looks at me and looks at the silverware.  He reaches with one finger slowly…. smack!  Crying…. looking…. he touches with a finger and puts it down quickly to see if I noticed.  Smack!  It may go on for a few minutes.  Finally, he knows he cannot win and either runs away crying or grabs onto my legs crying.  He has other testing areas right now: Daddy’s laptop, the nightlight in his room, the power button on the washing machine, the hand-activated automatic trash can.  Today I was amused to see him run by the nightlight and barely touch it as he passed, a smooth move if I ever saw one, and then glance my way to see if I had noticed.

  Ender takes a LOT of energy to watch.  Just ask Husband, who has spent many more days at home with him than I have.  Ender is active, constantly moving here and there and everywhere, and loves to climb and to get as high up as he can, just like a cat.  We had to get a child-proof door handle for the stairs because as soon as he could reach the handle, he could and would open it.  He loves to throw things: balls, toy cars, blocks…  We used to keep a container of blocks in the living room but Husband moved them to higher ground because they were being used to see how far they could be thrown instead of building towers.

  Ender just recently started throwing fits.  He has actually laid down on the floor kicking and crying a few times.  Usually, it is when he is terribly tired and frustrated about something.  So far, we have ignored the fits completely (except to comment to each other “look, he’s throwing a fit”) and he’s given it up after just a few minutes.

  But he is remarkably pleasant during the meals, which I credit to the sign language.  Instead of grunting and fussing or whining for whatever he wants, he claps his hands together (“more”) and points (“that”) and he is happy to sign “Please” whenever prompted.

  So far, he has been less clingy than the other two, for which I am grateful.  I remember Kelby and Bryler clinging to my legs constantly while I was in the kitchen, but Ender is more happy running from room to room carrying long objects.  Yes, this is another interesting facet of Ender’s personality.  He likes to carry long things that are almost as tall as he is.  It is no wonder that we rarely take him outside to play.  He’s either putting rocks in his mouth, running as fast as he can with long sticks, or climbing up or down whatever steps he can find.  Fortunately, he has finally learned that stepping directly down the steps is not a good idea.  He still scares me every time, but he gets down on his hands and knees and crawls down the steps backward.  Here’s another interesting thing about Ender: he is not a hand-holder.  I remember when Kelby and Bryler started walking, we would walk with them holding their hand, which was always very sweet.  Not Ender.  He doesn’t want his hand held.  It is too restricting, I guess.  He wants to be able to go in any direction he feels like going.

  When Kelby was a baby, we spent our best quality time with her when we changed her diaper.  That’s when we talked to her and taught her sounds and words and made faces at each other and bonded.  I realized just a few days ago how different Ender is.  Diaper changing time with him is a constant struggle to keep him from wriggling away, poo-poo and all.  He is finally getting better about staying still long enough for us to change him, but it’s still not the best time for bonding.

  Ender hasn’t formed any attachments to stuffed animals like Kelby and Bryler did, but he loves soft blankets and Nuk sippy cups.  I let him have water in his sippy cup at night.  He is cuddly when he first wakes up, grabbing his blanket and sippy cup before reaching for me and then snuggling against me with his face against the blanket and drinking from the sippy cup.  He also gives hugs if you ask for one.  He’ll put his head on your shoulder and say “Mmmmmm”.

  ___________________________________________________________________________

  So now that we’ve had three kids for over a year now, you might wonder how it’s been.  If I am to be honest, it’s been hard.  Ender really is a great kid: good natured, happy as long as he’s not bored, friendly, curious, eager, obedient, healthy, adorable.  We love him dearly.  But it’s been hard.  When we went from one to two kids, that was a huge change and we decided that two was enough.  In time, I felt that we were not done, so we took a leap of faith and had Ender.  Some people say that it’s not a big deal to add more kids after you’ve got two.  That has not been our experience.  I’m not saying for one minute that we regret having three kids.  I’m just saying that the logistics of three is much more difficult.

  Like going to the grocery store as a family, as we like to do on Saturday mornings.  Now we use two shopping carts and split up so we can divide and conquer our list more quickly, and the kids still end up driving us crazy before the job is done.  Husband usually takes the kids back to the car while I go through the checkout line.  I prefer standing in line to waiting in the hot car with the kids.

  And when you have two kids, you can occasionally ask a family member to watch them for a little while.  But it feels much different to say “can you watch all three of my kids?” for a few hours, especially when one of them is Ender’s age and a handful.  And if you split them up (one here, one there…), you start running out of family to ask.  This summer was especially hard because we had several events with the youth group that we couldn’t take the kids to.  Our family has been very kind to help out and we are so thankful to have family nearby, but it is still stressful working out the logistics.  You never know if they really enjoy doing it or if they are helping because they are too nice to say no, so we always hate to ask.  We got a babysitter for the first time one Friday evening when we had no other options.  The time flew by and it cost us $45 but it was nice not having to trouble our family and felt that the babysitter was happy to do it.  The babysitter was Megan, a girl from the youth group who just graduated from high school, has babysitting experience, and knows our kids pretty well, so we felt comfortable that she could handle it especially since they would be in bed about half of the time.  Turns out they spent most of the time watching Nickelodeon on TV.

  We tried to go on a family vacation on May 27 when we went to Wilderness at the Smokies, an indoor water park in Pigeon Forge.  We cleared our schedule for two nights but only made a reservation for one night since we weren’t sure how nice it would be.  The place was actually very nice and Kelby and Bryler loved the water park, but it was just too difficult and stressful and we ended up returning home at lunchtime the following day.  Ender was the trump card.  He is just not at a good age for travel.  All five of us sharing a hotel room was terrible.  Kelby and Bryler ended up getting spankings because they wouldn’t quit touching each other.  Ender took forever to fall asleep and only after we turned out all the lights and TV at 9 PM.  He clearly did not like the playpen he was sleeping in.  He woke up crying twice during the night and woke us all up at the crack of dawn.  At the water park, Kelby was the only one old enough to go down the slides but one of us had to go with her, obviously.  So we took turns riding the slides with her (which really was fun) and watching the boys (which really wasn’t much fun).  By lunchtime, Ender finally started falling asleep but that was not all that helpful because then we were tired and hungry and had to take turns holding him while the other took a child to change clothes, trying not to wake him as we passed him back and forth so he could get a little nap.  We went to Rafferty’s for lunch and I had to take Bryler out to spank him for throwing a fit because Kelby got chocolate milk and he got water (they take turns getting the chocolate milk at restaurants and it wasn’t his turn).  We stopped by Menchies on the way home as our last attempt to make it a special day, and that turned out alright, but we were much relieved to get home and put them all in their own beds for a nap that afternoon.  I believe Husband and I took a nap, too.  After that, we decided not to go to the beach this Fall as we were hoping to do.  Maybe next year.

  It is more difficult to enjoy the special little moments when I am so worn out from being Mommy.  I try to, but the time I spend with Ender is so much different than the time I spent with Kelby when she was our only child, and the realization makes me sad.  It takes that much more effort to spend 5 minutes playing with just him or to take a few minutes to snuggle instead of preparing that extra lunchbox in the morning (yes, I now have 3 lunchboxes to prepare) or to smile at him in the morning at 5:30 AM when he decides it’s time to get up.  I think/hope the logistics will get easier as the kids get older.  In the meantime, I’m afraid I will forget to enjoy them now.

  I don’t want to end this on a sad note, because we really are so blessed to have such wonderful kids, so here are some pictures of our grand adventures over the summer!

  

  5/19/11 End of School Bash

   

  5/30/11 Ender Taking a Dip

  

  6/3/11 Kelby Jumps off Diving Board

   

  

  6/4/11 Taking a Walk Around the Block

   

   

  

  6/13/11 1st Day of Soccer Camp with Layla

   

  

  7/5/11 Visiting the Bookstore

   

  

  7/5/11 Ender Enjoying a Balloon at Cousin Jack's Birthday Party

   

  

  7/15/11 Kelby Graduating from Karate Camp

   

  

  7/21/11 Taking a Walk with Pa

   

  

  7/21/11 Pa's Mower

   

  

  7/21/11 Roasting Marshmallows for S'mores!

   

  

  7/21 Picking Squash & Tomatoes Pa's Garden

   

  

  7/22/11 Visiting the Lake

   

  

  7/25/11 Dressed up for VBS

   

  

  8/7/11 Our First Wading Pool

   

  

  8/19/11 Bryler under a Bridge

   

  

  8/20/11 Water Balloon Fight with Cousins Jack & Daniel

   

• Book Fair

  12Jun
  Categories: Kelby's Education Comments: 2

  I had planned to go to a professional organization meeting in Oak Ridge one evening in March because the speaker was a friend of mine.  I knew it was also “family night” at the Book Fair at Kelby’s school, but we didn’t plan to go.  However, when Kelby pulled out a flyer about it when she was packing her backpack that morning and found out I wouldn’t be able to come, she started crying quietly. It was terribly sad. So I blew off the meeting and Kelby and I went to the book fair together. I let Kelby pick out a book to buy and a book mark (in addition to the two books she had bought from the fair earlier in the week) and we had a lot of fun together.

  It turned out to be an informative event for me because I saw Kelby’s new teacher there. (Her teacher for the first half of the year, Ms. A, had taken the school librarian position so her student teacher, Ms. F, became Kelby’s new teacher. There was a big difference in their teaching styles. Ms. A had been teaching for many years whereas this was Ms. F’s first class of her own. Kelby didn’t like her as much at first, mostly because Ms. F didn’t let them get away with as much, but it didn’t take long for her to start writing notes like “I love Ms. F” on her papers.) So we happened to sit next to Ms. F in the cafeteria after the book fair where they were serving free pizza. Kelby was distracted by a video that was playing so I was able to talk with Ms. F in private. I asked how Kelby was doing and if there was anything she needed to work on. She looked at me with wide eyes and said, “No, no. There’s nothing she needs to work on. I’m actually concerned that she isn’t being challenged and wanted to ask you if it would be alright to give her some more challenging work.” I got Kelby’s attention then and asked her if she would like to have some more challenging work to do, and she was excited. So I told Ms. F to go ahead. She said that she would find some 2nd and 3rd grade level material from some of the other teachers and that she wanted to see “how far she could go”. I told her that my husband and I were curious about that as well. It was a good parent-teacher conference, there at the book fair.

  A few days later, Kelby came home with extra work in the back of her notebook. She was allowed to do it whenever she wanted to after she finished her regular work. A few of the pages had already been completed. In the coming weeks, she was tested on 3rd and 4th grade level reading and comprehension. She had technically failed the 4th grade test but did quite well on the 3rd grade test. At the end of the school year, she had scored above average in all areas on her 1st grade assessment. When I saw Ms. F at the Mega Party at the end of the year, she said that she was constantly amazed at what Kelby could do. We are humbled and amazed.

  On the other hand, the Big Head syndrome has become a reality. One night when I was putting Kelby to bed, I discovered that she had told her friends at school that she had the brain of a 2nd grader and was the smartest person in the class. (She said that Keeton had disagreed with her and that Maggie and Sarah Dayle had agreed.) I was appalled. We had been so careful not to make a big deal about her skipping Kindergarten, always saying that it was because her preschool teachers were so good, and always avoided the word “smart” and focused our praise on working hard, etc. But I think the teachers at school were trying to be encouraging and helpful and had unwittingly given her the Big Head. I guess it was inevitable. She’s too smart not to figure out that she’s smart. When Kelby told me what she had said to her friends, I restrained myself from overreacting and explained calmly that what she did was called “bragging” and that bragging is never good because it makes other people feel badly about themselves. That if she thinks something good about herself, that’s fine but she should keep it to herself or only talk to Mommy or Daddy about it and to try to make other people feel good about themselves. I said goodnight and left her room still feeling shocked at our failure to prevent the Big Head after all our efforts. I told Husband what she had said. He couldn’t resist. He went back and talked with her about it. I heard a little bit of it through the doorway. He took a different approach and told her that no matter how much she thinks she knows, there is always someone who knows more than her, and that he knows some people that brag all the time and that people don’t like them, that if she wants to have friends, she can’t say things like that. She took our instruction very well and just said that she didn’t know it was bragging and that she wouldn’t do that anymore. You know, we can only do so much and in the end it’s up to her to live it out when she’s on her own. I just hope we can help her to be the best person she can be.

• Ender 9 to 13 Months

  08Jun
  Categories: Ender Firsts Comments: 1

  I feel terrible that I’ve not written about Ender since January when he was 8 months old. So I’ll try to get us back up to date.

  Ender started walking at 9 1/2 months. One morning, Husband and I were in the living room and I told him that I had seen Ender “practicing” walking the day before, holding onto the coffee table for a few steps and then letting go and seeing how far he could go (one or two steps). Right after I said that, Ender let go of the couch and started taking steps and we counted to eleven before he fell down! It was so cool that we got to see him walking for the first time. Being small for his age, Ender was a cutie walking around everywhere. He was wobbly at first, of course, but by 11 months was a pro and was exploring climbing. He is FINALLY learning a little bit of fear, but only because we have let him fall over and over again. The biggest fall we allowed him was from the footrest of the lounger chair in the sun-room, which is a full foot off the ground. He’d climb up on it and then step right off. After a while, I started hearing him fuss and when I’d go check on him he’d be standing at the edge of the footstool with his hands up obviously wanting me to get him down. I felt like it was a great step in his development that he’d learned that stepping off wasn’t a good idea. I’m trying to teach him to sit down and scoot off or to go backwards on his hands and knees. He hasn’t figured it out on his own yet. And since we haven’t allowed him to fall down any stairs, he continues to want to steps right off the top step. Ender also likes to climb up and stand on storage boxes of any size and to climb into laundry baskets. He is very proud of himself and does a little happy dance at the top. I’m afraid Ender is a “climber”, but I’m hoping he’s going to be a moderate climber and not a crazy climber like Lane is.

  We weaned Ender off the bottle about 2 weeks after his birthday. I was worried about this step because with the other two kids, we stopped them cold turkey as soon as they turned 1 year. But they both had an interest in the sippy cup at about 10 months. We’d tried the sippy cup with Ender several times and he wasn’t interested in drinking from it at all. He would chew on it for a few minutes and then he was done. But one day before Ender’s 12-month dr appointment, Granda gave him the sippy cup and he started drinking from it! We weaned him off the bottle a little more gradually, but by two weeks after his birthday, he was completely off the bottle. Ender is only interested in the same type of sippy cup that Lane loves. It’s a NUK Learner cup with the handles removed so it can fit in the diaper bag more easily.  The latex spout is really soft and it doesn’t require a whole lot of sucking to get the milk out.  Speaking of milk, he’s allowed to drink whole milk instead of formula after 12 months.  We use whole milk at home and formula when we’re on-the-go since formula is so much easier to transport.  I am trying to avoid putting juice in the sippy cup at all.  He can have water at night after his teeth are brushed and in the bed if he wants it or milk during the day.  I think we made a mistake by giving Kelby and Bryler juice at Ender’s age because they never wanted water after that.  Ender gets plenty of fresh fruit so he really doesn’t need any fruit juice and definitely doesn’t need the extra sugar.

  Speaking of brushing teeth, we have not been too great about remembering to brush his teeth.  We’ve probably brushed his teeth about 10 times ever.  He’s had four teeth on the top and two teeth on the bottom for a little while now.  (He has been teething just about constantly for four months.)  He cooperates with the teeth brushing pretty well.  He’s not allowed to hold the tooth brush to help prevent him from constantly trying to grab it from us.  The biggest challenge is getting him to keep his mouth open.  This has actually been a struggle since he was born.  He keeps his teeth very private.

  Bedtime: At night, we put him in the crib and leave him. We gave up on trying to get him to lay down and stay down. It was completely futile. He usually plays and talks and fusses and walks from side to side and throws out all the blankets and stuffed animals and ends up wearing himself out and falling asleep in about 30 minutes. He does love snuggling with a soft blanket to sleep so we make sure he has one in the crib. Oh, and after we realized he went to sleep a lot faster with a pacifier and starting clipping it to him, that helped a lot. Before that, we were constantly trying to find one of the many pacifiers that he’d thrown who-knows-where, getting down our hands and knees in the dark, crawling under the crib, feeling around everywhere for a little silicone pacifier. He’d wake up about two times every night wanting his missing pacifier. After we clipped it to him, he usually was able to find it himself and if he couldn’t we could find it much easier. Well, we weaned him off the pacifier last week.  I really hated to do it because it helps with the sleeping but we believe that the doctor is correct that this is the stage when babies form emotional attachments to items and the pacifier is not a good attachment because it is bad for the teeth.  So all our pacifiers are now gone.  We had a few nights with more lengthy crying, but it really has not been too bad.  Like I mentioned, he likes his soft blankets, so he may end up getting attached to a blanket or a stuffed animal.

  Since Ender shares a room with Bryler, it was causing some problems because Bryler was supposed to be quiet and going to sleep but Ender was playing loudly in his bed. Bryler was getting in trouble for playing with him. We pretty much solved this problem by turning Bryler’s bed so that is was easier to ignore Ender and we let Bryler look at books in the bed as long as he was laying down and being quiet. This has been working great! Since Kelby gets to read in the bed at night, this made Bryler feel like a big boy. By the time Bryler is done with the books and getting drowsy, Ender is usually asleep.

  Ender has a few words.  He says Mamma (whether it started out to be his word for Milk or for me, I’ll never know, but I think he now uses it for me) and Danda for Granda.  But his favorite word right now is Ball.  He said it for sure on May 3o at the Memorial Day cookout at Lance and Lori’s house.  All the kids played in kiddie pools, including Ender, and he enjoyed playing with the balls in the pool.  He now says Ball all the time when he plays with balls.  He sometimes says More, but he usually uses the sign for More.   That’s about it so far for spoken words, but he has a few new signs.  The signs he now does are:  More, Milk, Please, Down, and Eat.  He also started pointing at things a lot, which is really cute.  He definitely understands more than he says.  For example, he knows what No and Sit Down means and responds very well.  One more word he understands very well is Hot.  If we give him a piece of food and say, Be careful — it’s hot, he touches it gently and goes really slowly when touching it to his tongue.  That’s really fun to see!

  I think Ender’s facial features have changed a lot in the last 6 months.  I was looking back on some early baby pictures and thinking, Is that Ender?!  Here’s a great picture of Ender wearing a Tennessee Vol’s shirt during football season.

  

  2010-11-03 Ender's Smile

  Here’s Ender playing in one of the best toys ever — a cardboard box.  (This is the box that his new car seat came in.)

  

  2011-05-21 Ender & Box

  Oh, and here’s one of my favorite pictures ever…

  

  2011-05-21 In Box

  I mentioned that Ender is small for his age.  Here are the stats at his 12 month check-up:

  • Height: 29.75″ — 50%
  • Weight: 19.2 lbs — 10%
  • Head Diameter: 44.75 cm — 15%

  Legally, we can switch from the infant car seat to the forward-facing 4-point cat seat when the child is 1 year and 20lbs.  The doctor said that Ender was 20 lbs with clothes on so we could go ahead and switch him, so we did.  That infant carrier was getting so heavy and we were just over it.  We bought the most narrow car seat that we could find and it just barely fit in Husband’s car with the other two car seats.  We used Bryler’s old car seat in my car.  Ender loved sitting up and being able to see in the car.  Here’s a great picture of his first ride in his new car seat in Husband’s Honda CR-V.

  

  The downside of switching out of the infant carrier was that Ender was no longer “contained”.  There are times when you don’t want to be holding him but you can’t be chasing him down.  So we’ve been using the umbrella stroller more often, which Ender actually enjoys.  He can see what’s going on and likes to be pushed around.  Husband hates the hassle, but in the end it is a good solution to keeping him happy and contained.

  Ender is generally a happy baby.  He is very good when we take him places.  He is definitely the most fussy at home.  That is because he requires stimulation.  If he is bored, he is fussy.  On the other hand, he is generally a good napper at home and still takes 3 naps when he’s at home with Husband on Wednesdays and Fridays.  But he is to the age that he will fight naps so if he’s not at home or at Granda’s, it is rare for him nap.  And that’s not good because he gets overly tired and then he gets fussy.  But it’s not a problem for him to have just two naps in a day.  For instance, on Saturdays, we often go shopping in the morning and stay out until after lunch but Ender is usually good and happy and we just give him a long nap when we get home.

  And finally, my favorite development of all… snuggling!  At around his birthday, he started putting his head down on our shoulder, which is the closest thing to snuggling we’ve seen from him.  After that, it became more and more frequent.  Now he often puts his head down on our shoulder when we’re holding him, or down on our leg when we’re sitting down, etc.  We call them “hugs” because we feel that it’s his way of hugging.  It’s really sweet.  And Husband says that when he’s home with him, he’ll often sit and snuggle with him at the computer for up to 30 minutes at a time.  Coming from our most active little guy, that’s really special!

• Shopping Cart

  04Jun
  Categories: Ender Firsts Comments: 0

  Ender and I went to Wal-mart alone a few months ago (Ok, so it was back in December).  I let Ender ride in the shopping cart seat for the first time.  He loved it.  Here’s a photo.  He kept falling over when I turned corners until I put a container of formula on each side of him.  And then I gave him the box of spaghetti and he didn’t want to part with it.

  

  2010-12-19 Got my spaghetti

• Token Program Phase II

  30May
  Categories: Ideas Comments: 2

  The token program has been a huge success.  I tend to give out more white tokens than black ones, but I think that’s healthy because I’d rather focus on the good behavior than the bad.  Bryler still gets spankings, and even more of them recently because he’s taken up a defiant streak with me that I’m trying to nip in the bud.  He will look right at me with a mean face and say, “No!  Never!”  and sometimes he’ll say things like, “Do you hear me?!”  I’ve had to give him a spanking at Rafferty’s and at Wal-Mart this weekend, which has been interesting because I have to make them painful enough to be effective but you really can’t spank kids in public nowadays.  Fortunately, I got lucky enough to find a private place for just enough time to give the spankings without drawing any attention.  These were fully clothed spankings on the bottom that stung just enough to cause discomfort.  After both of them, I was able to connect with Bryler in a special way, to tell him that I love him and that I have to do that when he chooses to disobey they rules, that I can’t let him grow up thinking it’s ok to say things like that.  He needs to see that I am serious about the consequences because he will clearly push as far as he can get away with.  Those defiant streaks are hard to predict.  Sometimes, he’s very obedient and eager to obey.

  I bought two small clip boards about a year ago that we used to create a checklist for Kelby and Bryler’s morning routines.  I think I got the idea from one of the mommy podcasts that I listen to.  It was very effective.  At first, I got the standard clip boards and printed out the checklists on paper but Husband encouraged me to return them for some plexyglass clipboards that can use dry erase markers so I don’t have to keep printing out the lists.  I printed just one list for each of them and taped it to the back of the plexyglass and since it’s a clear material, you can see the list underneath and mark off the list with dry erase markers and then erase it the next day.  It worked so brilliantly that Kelby had her morning routine memorized and doing the steps automatically within about 2 weeks.  Bryler liked using the list even after he had it memorized and used it off and on for a few months.  Since then, our mornings have been running much more smoothly.  I would wake them up and then let them get up, turn off their noise makers, use the bathroom, and get dressed by themselves.  I would often lay their clothes out for them the night before so that they could do the whole thing independently.

  You might remember that the hardest part of the mornings was getting them to go down the stairs.  I still do not know why that was such a problem, but they would be halfway down the stairs and I would be yelling at them, “JUST GO DOWN THE STAIRS!  Why are you just standing there??  GO!  GO!”  And still they would just be barely moving.  Somehow in the middle of the school year, they got the idea that it was fun to go get in the car and hide from me in the floorboards.  Since we were usually going to Granda’s house just a few doors down the street, I would let them continue hiding instead of making them get in their seats.  I would play along and say, “Oh, dear, Kelby and Bryler are going to be left at home…”  and ”Boy, Kelby and Bryler are going to be so upset that I left them…” and they would try not to giggle.  I also started letting them play the Nintendo DS or Gameboy or Didj in the car so Bryler would be more than happy to go get in the car and play until I got there and Kelby would follow along and sometimes play, too.  So that problem has been mostly solved as well.  The clip boards have not been needed for several months.

  About 2 weeks ago, I started thinking about those wonderful clip boards that were going to waste and came up with Phase II of the token program, which I will call Clip Board Lessons.  I was looking for a more organized way to give the white tokens.  We had been using the “random” approach to discourage them from saying, “I did this, so I get a white token” type of attitude.  We were supposed to “catch” them being good and sometimes they would get a white token but not always.  I still like that idea and we will continue doing that, but there’s also some merit to the direct approach — working hard for something.  Clip Board Lessons incorporates the direct approach.  Both Kelby and Bryler would have a list of 3 things to work on with 5 blanks each where the check marks would go.  At the end of the day, they might get to enter a check mark for being successful in one of their lessons that day.  After 5 checks on an item, that  lesson would come off the list (to be replaced by something else) and they would get 2 white tokens.  That may not sound like much, but since they only need 3 white tokens to play Plants vs. Zombies (still Bryler’s favorite game), he was excited about that.  Kelby has been saving her white tokens, so she was excited to grow her stash.

  It was really funny the morning that I described the plan to Kelby and Bryler.  They were immediately enthusiastic.  I put down the 3 lessons on their clip boards, but they spent all morning thinking of new things that needed to go on their own or each others’ lists.  When we got to Granda’s house and described the plan, Layla was helping come up with things, too.  It was all in good fun.  Layla may say something like, “Bryler needs to have ‘no picking your nose’ on his list” and Bryler would agree and laugh and think of something that would be on Layla’s list.  So here’s what we had on each of their clip boards when we started out:

  Bryler’s List –

  • Hands Off Pee-Pee (we kept catching him messing with his privates and it was getting annoying)
  • Make Eye Contact (we’ve been casually working on this with him for a long time with very little success.  He tends to look everywhere except in our faces when he talks to any adult including us.)
  • May I Please & Thank You (both Kelby and Bryler are pretty good about it at home, but they somehow forget all their manners at Granda’s house)

  I thought it was funny that when I told Granda Bryler’s three items, she said, “Oh, that’s a good one” for each one.  Granda spends a lot of time with Bryler on Wed and Fridays, so it was good confirmation that we had chosen some good things to work on.

  Kelby List –

  • Yes Ma’am & Obey Quickly (although Kelby is pretty good at saying “Yes Ma’am”, she’s not so quick to obey)
  • Keep Bedroom Floor Clean (she tends to leave various items on the floor for no good reason)
  • May I Please & Thank You (see note above)

  It’s been two weeks and let me just say that I have been very pleased with the progress so far.  They have had to work at it, but I have seen improvements on each of the “lessons” on their lists.  Bryler’s hardest one was Make Eye Contact and still only has 3 checks, but he was looking straight in my eyes this afternoon when he was asking me a question and I didn’t even have to remind him.  I was REALLY excited.  Bryler got the Hands Off Pee Pee item completed in just five days.  It seems that he just needed a little bit of motivation.  We replaced it with

  • No Mean Faces/Don’t Say “No” (this addresses the defiant actions we’ve been seeing lately)

  As an aside, it is really interesting about the mean faces.  Kelby went through a phase of making mean faces when she was about his age.  It’s almost like they are trying to be as mean and nasty as possible and they put on this terrible, almost evil, face to prove it.  It does seem to be a phase, so I’m not too worried.

  Bryler also just completed May I Please and Thank You and Kelby completed Keep Bedroom Floor Clean and she’s got 4 checks on the other two as well.  This afternoon, Husband and I discussed what to focus on next.  There were so many little things we to choose, but we wanted to put something really good on there.  We thought of the perfect thing.  I’d read in the book, On Becoming Baby Wise Book II, Parenting Your Pretoddler Five to Fifteen Months that you should teach your child to respond when their name is called and to have their full attention before giving the instruction.  I thought it was a brilliant idea when I read it, which was back in December when Ender was about 6 months old.  Obviously, he’s not old enough for this yet.  When I say, “Ender, come here,” he is usually going at full speed in the other direction.  The book was actually suggesting that we get used to using Ender’s name before we gave him instructions so that when he was a toddler, we could teach him to stop what he was doing and respond with “Yes, Mommy?” when his name was called and then he would be giving his full attention to whatever would come next.  However, it’s a perfect time to re-teach our older two, who are constantly guilty of “not hearing” the instructions we give them.  So both of their next clip board lessons will be

  • Respond When Your Name is Called

  We will, of course, explain that we expect them to stop what they are doing and give us their full attention so that they can listen to whatever we need to tell them.  Time will tell how that will turn out, but I have high hopes.

• The Softball Game

  29May
  Categories: Exercise Comments: 2

  Pastor Billie, the children’s pastor, convinced Husband and me to sign up to be on the co-ed church softball team.  She said that she would help arrange for child care.  She lied.  Turns out we would have to get someone to watch our kids or we could take turns going.  The games also turned out to be on Tuesdays and started at 6:00, 7:00, 8:00, or 9:00.  And the games are 30 minutes away from where we live, on a school night.  We paid $60 to be on the team, so we felt like we should at least go to one game each to get our money’s worth. We missed the first game because I was out of town for work.  We missed the second game because we had to take Bryler to get stitches on his chin (actually, they just super-glued him).  Lori got to go to the second game, but she didn’t enjoy it very much.  The 3rd game got rained out.  Husband went to the 4th game, which was a double-header at 7:00 and 8:00, but he didn’t have a great time.  The main problem was that there were people on the team that were not church-goers and they were using bad language and had bad attitudes.  So the next game was at 6:00 and I didn’t have a good excuse and Husband said it was my turn.  I packed my change clothes and headed to work.  At 5:15, I left work and realized I had forgotten my glove.  I’m especially fond of my glove.  I was close to going home, but knowing I would have to go to at least one game, I wanted to get it over with.  I called Billie and she said she had an extra glove I could borrow.  I scarfed down two Big Mac Wraps and headed for the field.

  Fast forward… I had a blast!  I had forgotten how much I loved to play softball.  Charles LeMaster arrived when I did, and we warmed up together.  That was great fun!  Billie’s glove was actually better than my own glove.  I got to play first base, which was always “my position” when I played on teams when I was young.  I had not played softball in probably 15 years but it all came back to me, like riding a bike.  I caught all 4 passes that were thrown to me and helped make 3 outs.  The players on my team were pleasant (except for one girl with a bad attitude that I didn’t know, who I was able to ignore).   It was a glorious time.  Adrenalin pumping.  I felt alive.   The only thing that would have made it better was if Husband had been there… and if I were able to hit the ball.  I struck out twice and made 1 hit that got me to first base.  It felt really strange to sprint as fast as I could to the base.  My legs protested, but it was a wonderful feeling.  A nice fellow hit after me and he hit a home run, so I had to sprint as fast as I could to get around the bases before he caught up with me.  Then Terri hurt her leg but had two good hits to get her to first base, and I was put in as her substitute runner both times.  Chris hit after her and he is FAST.  He hit two home runs and sent me flying around the bases two more times!  We lost by two points, which I think was as close as our team has ever come to winning.  We ended the game by lining up and hitting the hands of each player of the other team and saying “Good Game” about fifteen times, which was the most surreal part of the game.  It literally felt like  I was 12 years old.

  I left grinning and feeling great.  It was the most fun I’ve had in months.  I will figure out a way for Husband and I to play together before the season is over.